Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
PANTIES FOUND
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