you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
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