Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
