after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
