i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize