in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
You're right, stupid question.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...