I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
