JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
20 People Who Caught Their Significant Others Cheating and Hand Over Some Major Karma
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
33 Memes You’ll Find Uncomfortably Relatable If You’ve Ever Been Through A Messy Breakup
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...