shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
You peed on a flamingo?!?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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