you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize