So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
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My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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