dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Randomize
