I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize