i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
