No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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