i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
