I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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