Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
