bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
