Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
