Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
His nipple licking is glorious
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