I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
