he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
