i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
