We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
she peed on how many people?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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