I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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