And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
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