So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
