jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
