I got chris browned last night
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
