can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
