It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
