i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
