We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
