How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
