I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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