i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
