Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
