Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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