I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
