come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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