nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
