We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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