Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
