Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I need moral support for this bender
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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