my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Randomize
