Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I have surprise drugs for everyone
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
