Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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