I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
