I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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