Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
