So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
