It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
