Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
