I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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