Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I just got carded by a ten year old.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
