Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Well I just put wine in my tea
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
