i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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