I just cut my nipple shaving
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Randomize
